When Tupac spoke about his father passing, articulated the pain of so many young men who had father issues, “No love from my daddy cause the coward wasn’t there. He passed away and I didn’t cry, cause my anger wouldn’t let me feel for a stranger.”
These words haunt me because I never want my sons to feel that way about me. I’m glad to say that I love my Father and we have a good relationship that formed and was reformed by God’s grace.
I had the potential to be angry because in my early years of development I remember the discipline of my father on those rare occasions I saw him but not the love. It was after his transformation when he accepted his call to preach the gospel that I saw my father’s heart.
Being a dad is an awesome responsibility. Traditionally dads have been tough but not tender, cordially aloof, maybe at home but not emotionally present. In this new era of parenting, Fathers need to make sure their children don’t feel “anger for a stranger.”
How do we become good dads?
1. Don’t provoke your children by coming down hard on them. Many times as father’s we feel like it’s our role to be the enforcer in the family. It’s been said, “Fathers raise their sons and love their daughters.” In actuality children need both. They need to know that their daddy loves them so that discipline doesn’t backfire. As a child you don’t want to disappoint someone you love. Your kids shouldn’t see you only when they are in trouble.
2. Bring them up in discipline. Raise and bring up have upward inclinations. Everything we do to discipline our children should have an upward trajectory. We give them discipline so they can rise up. Our positive reinforcement should make them better not bring them down. Discipline is not catching them doing wrong but teaching them how to do something right until they master it.
3. Bring them up in the instruction of the Lord. As Fathers we are supposed to be the primary instructors of God’s Word. Proverbs 6:20-21, 23 My son, obey your father’s commands, and don’t neglect your mother’s instruction. Keep their words always in your heart. Tie them around your neck. For their command is a lamp and their instruction a light; their corrective discipline is the way to life.
Thank you for allowing me to be a father. I haven’t been perfect but you have allowed me to grow in grace. Thank you for the privilege to raise sons. I pray that would get my good and miss my bad. I pray that they know how much I really love them. I want them to do better than I did. I want them to know Jesus and to love them and let him lead them. When it’s my time to leave this earth I want them to remember the love and the lessons I put in them. Thank you for giving me a dad, letting me be a dad, and for being my Father.
In Jesus Name,