Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono at

Image courtesy of Salvatore Vuono at

Song of Solomon 2:7 Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem:Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up,until the time is ripe—and you’re ready. 

Ephesians 6:24 Grace to all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with an undying love. 

I’m getting ready to travel to Mexico for our bi-annual marriage retreat where my wife and I will teach married couples about, “Healthy living and Health loving.” Even as I’ve been looking forward to this time, I’ve also been discouraged about the present state of marriage.

It doesn’t appear that people take seriously the sacredness and seriousness of the marriage covenant.

Let me ask you a question. Do you remember playing kick ball in grade school? Do you remember the one girl or boy who was put on your team that didn’t really want to play? You were trying your best to win and they were just out there! It’s so frustrating.

Well that’s what it feels like trying to help people stay married. Some couples want to win and others are just out there!

Two of the most erotic lovers in the bible talk over and over about their passionate love connection. Song of Solomon is more erotic than 50 shades of Gray but the difference is that this relationship doesn’t require someone to be dominated. However, the woman in the text warns other young girls not to stir up love until it is ready or mature. What does that mean?

1.  Love is not something you cut on and off. When Love is ripe it keeps on loving in spite of the circumstances. When we take wedding vows that say, “for better or worse” they can only be fulfilled by agape love not erotic love.

2.  Erotic love is sustained by agape love. We are a 50 shades of gray generation. We are searching for the next dopamine rush and rush out of maturing love for something more exciting.

Don’t start a marriage that is not based on mature Love!

3.  Mature love is love that is birthed out of the love that Jesus had for us and it is an undying love. This is what mature love looks like: 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 

Don’t get married until you are sure that you and your potential spouse have mature love. If you are already married, give your love a chance to mature before you give up.

Dear God,

Thank you for giving me a love that believes all things, endures all things. You first loved me when I was unloveable. Jesus loved me and died for me while I was still sinning. That love gripped my heart and made me able to love my wife as Christ loved the church so much so that he gave himself up for her. My life is no longer about what I want but it’s about what my wife and my family need. I must decrease so you can increase. When I love like you love, love always comes back to me. 

I love you most of all



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