“Look beneath the surface so you can judge correctly.” John 7:24 NLT


In order to have healthy relationships they must be three dimensional. We have to go deeper and not stay stuck in surface level connections.

The religious leaders were judging Jesus and condemning him for healing a man on the sabbath. Jesus reminded them that they circumcised on the sabbath to keep tradition. They were guilty of what they were accusing Jesus of doing. They are cutting on the sabbath and he’s healing on the sabbath. He told them to go beyond the surface to judge correctly.

How do we go beyond the surface in our relationships?

  1. Don’t judge a book by its cover. In my first book, “Naked and Unashamed: A journey towards sexual wholeness in Christian marriage,” many people judged the book based upon what they heard and not what they read. In my new book, “3D Relationships,” I teach people that you have to open the book, that is, look into the heart of the person before you condemn them. Don’t go on what they tell you. Go on what God reveals to you.
  2. Don’t confuse a person’s origin with their destiny. The people couldn’t believe that Jesus was the Messiah because they knew his parents and where he came from. Some people are too familiar with you to see your purpose. They think they know you but they never really saw you. You might know my address but you don’t know my destination.
  3. Engage people in deeper conversations. You never really know a person until you talk to them. There are some people that will dislike you and have never had a conversation with you. They love to hate you because they can’t be you. To know me is to love me. But know this, everybody is not meant to be in your life. Jesus said, “You cannot come to me unless the father sends you.” You don’t want people in your life God didn’t send! 

Before you judge someone, go beneath to surface. Don’t be a surface friend and miss a Kingdom connection!


Dear God,

Thank you for taking me beyond the surface and showing me who my 3D friends are and who my surface friends are. How can two walk together unless they agree? Show me who to walk with and who to run from!

In Jesus’ Name,

Amen!